Day 4 - Clarity

Some days I really wish I could remove myself from my life and watch it as though it were a movie. Sometimes I think we are so close to a situation we can't see the tree amongst the forest.
Clarity, discernment, understanding, perspective. Any of it would be nice.

But church tonight was good. The peace that my definition lies in Christ, and not in circumstances or those around me. So I guess if there are any convictions, the song in my head keeps coming back to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGKfrgqWcv0&sns=em

Ok, God. I'm waiting on you.

Day 2

I'm letting go of worry. I'm letting go of control. I'm falling into the comfort of God's hands to find my rest. I am trusting God with my future whatever it may be.

Day 1

So I began my "30 days of self" by watching Happy and Food Matters, a documentary on Netflix last night. Started my first dose of antibiotics for my sinus infection and began feeling awfully excited to become healthy again. This morning I was watching a food documentary. In one of those documentarties it talked about taking 3000mg of Niacin for mood improvements and cholesterol health. The Food Matters also talked about juicing a meal a day and eating raw to improve health.

So after getting coffee with my lovely friend and catching up on life, I headed to Sprouts to buy kale, pear, blackberries, parsley, carrots and celery to juice and added Spirulina. It's suppose to be a super food and high protein. I also bought Niacin. So after coming home and feeling remotely alive again from being sick for about a week, I juiced my vegetables, added the Spiulina and took my 3000mg of Niacin. As coincidence has it I was just educated on a "Niacin Flush" about a week ago. So after consuming half of my juice (with this new mystery super food) I begin to break out in hives all over my body, chills and itchy. I looked in the mirror and looked like I had been sunburnt. At first I thought it was this new superfood, but then realized it was this thing called the Niacin Flush.....
So my first day of health and focus on me.....

-note to self: too much Niacin,
-I love my time hanging out with Melissa.
-meals are prepared and packed for the week
- working on my second sweater
-Thank you to my friend/ physician-antibiotics are good
29 more days.

30 days of feeding me.

How is that title for grammar? Clearly I'm a science major and not English....or I'm too sick to really care.
I have eliminated Facebook from my life for the time being. I am currently single. I pretty much only have to show up for work 40 hours a week. So in my infinite wisdom, I am making a conscious effort to focus on me these next 30 days and live more intentional. I am not really sure what that looks like yet, but I figure once it's published on the Internet, it's fact.
So what I commit to: my nutrition plan. 95% compliance, continue training for my 11th half marathon. Other than that, it's open to what the day brings.
I am 34, the only thing dependent on me is my dog. She is pretty low maintenance, so I think we should be good there. I have tried the martial arts venue and pursued my aggressive side. I have taken up stain glass making in the past. These next 30 days, I will be open to whatever presents itself and pursue life fully. I am probably lying if I say I will update this daily for 30 days, but I will give it an honest effort.
Here. We. Go.

Friendships that stand the test of time

Rachel and I became best friends in 6th grade. We met when we started playing soccer together. I am pretty sure we lived at opposite ends of the school district. I stunk at math and she was became my tutor. We thought it was the coolest thing when we got to stay the night at each others house on a school night. Rachel was always the one to keep me out of trouble and I was always the one to push the limits. With that said, we were still considered "goody-goodies" in high school along with our eight other best friends. Our group of girls : Amy, Tana, Molly, Amanda, Maggie, Susan, Cindy, Danielle and sometimes Michelle. We always tried to figure out how we ended up being friends. There are a few theories. The first being we all met in 6th grade (when 4 elementary schools merged) and I was being bullied by Sara Hardman and the girls stuck by me. (Pretty sure I narrowly made it through 6th grade alive). The other~ more realistic theory is that we were all raised in strong Christian homes, and we really respected our parents and they trusted us.

I look back now and realize that group of 6th grade girls that found me shaped me into who I am today. I am so grateful for them. I am also awed that our friendships have stood the test of time. We are still all very close.

 This is my beautiful friend Rachel. Life has played it's part in not allowing us to see each other for about 10 years, but this past weekend we showed "Life" that it had nothing on our friendship. Rachel has been blessed with an amazing husband that adores her and two beautiful little ones. It was so great to see a husband and wife so in love after 10 years of marriage and struggles life has brought them.

This is Averie, she got to spend "Girl's Day" with us at the Pavilion in Kansas City. We went to the Melting Pot. She declared it to be the best day ever. I'd have to agree....the chocolate absolutely helped in declaring it.

This is Nathan. Always full of expressions and nosies. The joy and excitement with EVERYTHING.

Rachel, Kevin, thank you for allowing me to spend Valentine's weekend with you and showing me beautiful love, patience and adoration. Your love for each other gives me hope. Rachel, I needed this weekend more than you know, and we need to make sure life doesn't step in and rob us of time from each other. Averie....my nails are still lovely!

When a Midwest girl moves out West

I have lived out here for over 6 1/2 years. I have found a job (on my 4th), bought a house, got a dog and dating a fantastic guy. So I figured it was about time to introduce some of my home traditions.

October: Apple butter!
It has been quite the process. About a year ago I purchased a 20gallon copper kettle on Craigslist.
I am having an iron stand made. Brian and Jeff made a paddle (with an ergonomic grip....for the physical therapist ;). ) Brian and I have purchased 20# of sugar, Sam's size cinnamon, 15 gallons of cider, and.....with the help of Shelly and Guy turned 2 bushels ( 80#) of apples into applesauce.

I never realized how much work my family did. Making applesauce was exhausting (so much so I dropped a boiling hot pot of apples mid -way through the process).

Praying for beautiful weather October 15th. I am hoping I can bring honor to the DeWeese name with our Ohio-in-Colo Apple butter festival. We'll be carving pumpkins, having a marshmallow roast that night, drinking beer and apple pie moonshine as well as playing yard games and listening to football games all day! I just hope my little 864 sq ft house with be able to hold it's own. So wish us luck! Pictures to follow. These are the precursor...making applesauce.

Hello New Year.

My sister-Beth

Dad

Amy-Cozumel

Grandma, Dot and Mom

Miss Harper.

Carolyn!

The Boy~ Brian


How cliche to start with "New Year- New You". So I am not going to say "New You" but how about a "Better You". And when I say You, I mean Me!


Major events of 2010-

Moving out of my apartment and into an interim place. My amazing friend Carolyn housed me until my house was ready to be moved into.

In exchange for loaning my house to another family in need of temporary shelter~they did some beautiful, necessary, fantastic renovations for me.

After spending Easter with my childhood friend in Denver, I came back to Fort Collins to find out my mom has been hospitalized and very sick. 10L of oxygen- sick. In Ohio. Which effectively means she can't come and visit me in Colorado. After many prayers being answered she began her recovery so she was able to come out and visit in May.

May- I move in my house. My friend Rachel comes out to visit and we run the Boulder Bolder (5 yr anniversary from when I had first moved out here). I start volunteering for the Fort Collins Foxes Baseball team as their trainer. I adopt a rescue 6 year old weimaraner- Harper.

June/July- I take my first real vacation in about 5 years. My aunt and uncles cabin in Canada. No running water, no electricity. We boat to the island. My cousin Katie (who just graduated from culinary school- so yes, we ate amazing!), my aunt, uncle and mom.

August- I start dating Brian. Very important! One of my best friends, becomes my boyfriend. I visit Cozumel for another best freind's wedding. Where my role is armature photographer. Photos turned out fine. The partying turned out fine. Ok, maybe too fine.

September- My cousin's San Francisco wedding. I love San Francisco, you really should visit if you haven't been~ I get super sick....but never fear, a wedding must go on. And a party must be had....despite the fever. Family is amazing. My youngest aunt, cousin (bride's brother), the new mother-in-law...and of course me....ensured there was a dance party! The end of the trip tied off with a nice tour of Sonoma Valley!

October- My brave boyfriend decides he wouldn't mind meeting the family. The farm. The apple butter. Did I mention how amazing he is? Well. He's fantastic! We see much of Cincinnati including Skyline, childhood/ college friends, Jungle Jims.

November-Dad is hospitalized. I make a weekend trip home to say goodbye. He makes it out of the hospitalized despite constant low blood pressure.

December- Christmas. For some reason this year~ I just didn't feel it. I blamed it on the 60 degree Colorado weather. Christmas comes and goes. December 26th Dad dies. I fly home New Year's Eve.

So with this all said. I am so grateful for family. friends. love. acceptance. understanding.

I have learned you attend funerals for those surviving. If your close to a survivor. Attend to give support even if you never met the deceased.

I have learned family~ even those that you have seen in 20 years, are still family. They still love you despite the gossip spoken. I am awed that cousins I hadn't seen in so long, rushed (literally rushed....were there within an hour) to help during a very difficult time! Thank you Steve, Cindy and Vickie!

I have learned life is good when you best friend becomes your boyfriend.

I have learned to ask for help. Sort of. (I'm still working on the pride thing). Thank you to the Trainor's and Jeff and Brian on all of the house work.

I have learned that I love my job. They are great in bettering my skills and challenging me. And provide support when my life is rough. I also love that my co-workers are my friends and take care of me.

I have learned that fitness is a yo-yo and ongoing battle. So my resolution is to eat better and exercise. Not to beat myself up if x pounds aren't lost in x weeks.


I have learned that people surprise me. For better and for worse. But the truth is anger is generated out of hurt feelings. And we are all just trying to make it the best we know how.


So. Go out and love. My dear and wise friend Abby and I have had the conversation that I am humbled as I age. I use to look at people and think~ I will never do that when I am in that situation....and then something funny happens, you are in that situation and find yourself doing the one thing you swore you would never do. Or you wonder how could anyone ever make that decision, and then you start listening to their story and realize....Wow. All things considered, that makes sense now. So don't judge, when you do you're letting God know you are more capable of doing His job than he is. All he ever asks us to do is love.

(I am sure I left out more major events that occured in 2010- Please don't take offense if I forgot to mention them. I love you no less. I am sure they will appear on her shortly :) ).